Sober Legs

Learning to walk on sober legs.

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So its my birthday and mostly it was pretty boring, except for my 5 year old wishing me happy birthday. I went out for a chinese dinner with hubby and the food was amazing! And I did have a couple of chinese beers too. We couldn’t finish it so brought leftovers home. Still enjoying my meal now while watching Brothers on my PC. Also finally got paid and really happy to learn I got a raise.

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i gave in again

Been umming and ahhing about whether I would drink on my bday, and just today decided that I would. I’m going to try to enjoy it without the guilt, cos I’m still fully committed to stopping after this. I am turning 36 tomorrow – and will not miss out on life anymore!

I just did not feel like feeling tortured through what should be a happy occasion. Not that sobriety is torture, but it can be somewhat distracting in the beginning.

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So day 1 was a success. I am still smoking, but did not drink. Been getting to bed early and enjoying the extra sleep.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I’m still not exactly sure what I want to do. I’m thinking of going to the chinese restaurant. Also hoping to get paid soon.

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Thought I had way more than enough booze to see me through my last night of drinking, but it seems I went through it quicker than expected. So I will have to start my sobriety tonight. Not altogether a bad idea to go to bed NOT PISSED. I am excited and scared. And excited.

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Post more

I want to start posting more often, so I’ve installed wordpress on my phone. The more detached I am, the more I drink, so here we go. I plan to finish tonight and start day 1 tomorrow. There are so many reasons why I want and need to do this, I’m sure I will write about them soon enough.

I love alcohol and also hate it so much. It makes me feel so good and also so rotten. I’m always thinking about it and I hate that. Right now I kind of need it to just feel normal, but I’m so looking forward to getting past the withdrawal phase, so I can remember what normal actually feels like.